Zooey Deschanel is the reason I got bangs… for a month and then realized I couldn’t pull them off and am now regrettably growing them back in.
Conversation I imagine at Time Warner Cable HQ:
EVP #1: Don’t you think customers will get pissed that we just keep hiking up their cable bills even as the quality of our service declines at an exponential rate? I mean, what if they just all get sick of paying through the nose and resort to watching ALL their shows online for free?
EVP #2: Hahaha, Frank, you are HI-LARIOUS! Everyone knows the Internet is just a fad. People would NEVER cancel their cable. It’s a goddamn institution!
2012: The Year of Semi-Realistic Resolutions
(…because let’s face it, the only way I’m losing 15 lbs is by chopping off my arm.)
Friday Night Confession: So, what if I like Dateline? Your mom likes Dateline. No, really. I bet she does.
