This may come as a shock, but I am not the best skier… As evidenced by the black diamond, black eye incident of winter 2000. It was a dark day at Oak Mountain.
“What exactly is the Walk ‘n Salt, Maggie?”
I’m so glad you asked. It’s a top hat, connected to a backpack full of sidewalk salt. As you walk along NYC’s unshoveled, deathtrap sidewalks, you set your Walk ‘n Salt backpack to release the optimal amount of salt to ensure that you don’t slip on the ice and crack your head open. Instead, as you stroll the city streets, your top hat will spray salt at the ideal trajectory in front of you to coat the sidewalk while not coating your face (see warning). Everyone around you will have hats and winter clothes on so they probably won’t notice that they are also being pelted with salt. I almost slipped and died like 90 times today so I figured I’d invent something to solve this problem for our next 8 blizzards.
