I don’t know what I Googled to get Facebook to think I have a coke habit, but it’s better than when all the ads I got were for acai berries and miracle diets.

I don’t know what I Googled to get Facebook to think I have a coke habit, but it’s better than when all the ads I got were for acai berries and miracle diets.

A knock-off version of Hooters recently opened in my neighborhood. I found out about it when I ran smack into a giant pair of 15’ tall boobs, prominently splayed on the billboard atop the Broadway N/Q elevated subway station (for reference see the grainy photo of this really tasteful ad that I borrowed from 4-Square).

Rather than getting pissed off about another unoriginal company using boobs to sell mediocre beer and wings, I started thinking: Ladies, why haven’t we gotten in on this?

Here’s my pitch: I’d like to open a restaurant called ‘The Bulge’ (I thought about ‘Boners,’ but it apparently already exists as a BBQ chain).

Concept is simple:

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Damn you, clever prune advertisements!

Damn you, clever prune advertisements!

Anyone else notice an uptick in these commercials? I guess Valentine’s Day is like THE day people are doing it. Every time I see the ads though, I can’t help but feel like I mistakenly walked in on a couple’s counseling session. Gross.

Anyone else notice an uptick in these commercials? I guess Valentine’s Day is like THE day people are doing it. Every time I see the ads though, I can’t help but feel like I mistakenly walked in on a couple’s counseling session. Gross.

It’s probably weirder that I actually smell all those free perfume samples they put in the newspaper. Can you imagine if someone ever put anthrax on those things?! All 4 people who smell them would be toast.

It’s probably weirder that I actually smell all those free perfume samples they put in the newspaper. Can you imagine if someone ever put anthrax on those things?! All 4 people who smell them would be toast.

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